I can't hold on much longer

i guess u went back on it,

I guess you forgot how i feel.

I understand what you say,

But when did i ever do that?

getting rid of our friendship,

... Is like erasing my mind.

getting rid of you,

Is like killing myself.

And we had our oath,

Swore as if we were sisters,

But i guess

You never thought that.

I loved you like one,

I couldn't live without you.

But now i guess i have too,

Otherwise who will be waiting for me

on the otherside?

only people who don't want me there

And the people who hate me.

If i am not there on monday,

It is my fault,

Scream and yell and curse my name

Talk about me as if i were still there.

But now i'm having second thoughts

On my decisions in the past.

I am sorry,

But tell me this,

Were you ever even honest?

i feel as though there's a knife through my heart

and no matter what they say,

it won't go away

Tears flow,

I can't breathe.

... And sooner rather then later.

You broke your promise

And i will always keep mine.

And right now, i want to die,

But even if i do,

Your side is broken,

So it won't matter.

Some one save me,

Before this knife

Ends it all

Two stockings were missing and two people less to buy for

I may be saving money but it seems to cost so much more

When the ones you love are no longer there,

and there are two less chairs

 At our christmas dinner and no ordaments on the tree

And the tinsel has lost it's shine, and the fire has died

Though i knew it was coming from the begining of the year

The shock still hasn't hit me until the lights burned out

And i was saying goodbye

the tears started to form in my eyes

That's when i realized that sitting in the chair

Across the living room by the TV was nothing but thin air

And the room down the hall was nothing but that

A simple room with no soul alive only the air or maybe my cat

I wanted to get you something i really did

But it wasn't until after i had up and left

I realized that i can't give it to you.

For angels never show and they can't recive

The gifts of the loved ones they left behind.

I love you papa Rocco and Gramdma Alice. I hope you had a nice christmas and gave jesus his gift. God bless your souls and rest in peace.

Black is a night to be left alone

Red is my blood seeping through

Together is what i fear.

Love is harsh

Tears are iceicles

Hope darkens like the night sky

hearts are ice; broken so easy.

And we wonder why Mother Nature gave us Winter

Isn't it because her life is just like Any?

({okay here's a line i'm not sure if i want to keep it or not, tell me what you think.} Broken, betrayed, hurt, harsh, and cold? )

What if one day i wasn't at school?

No one would really care.

The next day?

Same thing.

After a week?

What if it had been a month?

What if it had been a year?

What if i was dead?

What if?

life is such a dull boring thing.

then out comes the sun to chase away the darkness.

out comes the kids wanting to play.

this is when life is at its peek.

I'm glad because you said you'd never leave me

I'm mad because it's the one promise you didn't keep

Dear God

I can't lose him no,

not when I'm so young,

not when I'm so clueless,

You already took my best friend,

Your making all my friends leave and move,

Why god? If your there listening...Why him? Why not some one else?

Why do you need him?

So he can drive a bus?

So he can make you jewelry?

Because i don't think you do.

You can go get a jeweler.

Go get a bus driver.

Go get a milk man.

Go get a grandpa.

Go get somebody Else's loved one.

Just please leave him here...(3 days later)

I didn't want him to go

He gave up to you

Isn't that enough?

Dear god,

You should have...

Took some else

Took away his pain

All I have left is the memories that remain.

Me: Why am I praying to you for the third time tonight? Why God?

God: Because you need something.

Me: Yes, I need my grandpa, I don't want him to die. So, Why God?

God: He must die, though.

Me: Why? Oh Why must he? Why god?

God: So that there aren't too many humans.

Me: Why him? Why now? Why not someone else? Why god?

God: *says nothing*

Me: ANSWER ME!!! I WANT TO KNOW!

God: You say want not need so i won't tell you.

Me *starts to cry* You took my best friend at the age of five, two of my teachers, and my dog. Why my grandpa? Why God? Haven't you've done me enough damage?

God: *says nothing*

Me: I guess you haven't! I guess you are cruel! What is wrong with me? Why are you taking everything away from me? My best friend, my teachers, my dogs, my grandpa, my father, What's next? My mother? My neighbors? Me? Tell me! Please! Why God?

God: *says nothing*

Me: ...Help...me...please. Why god? why? Everything shouldn't be wrong. Instead nothing is right.

I Don't believe in Santa,

I Don't believe in Prince Charming,

I Don't believe in fairies,

I Don't believe in Shooting stars,

I Don't believe in God,

Because if...

Santa was real then every child would get a present on Christmas.

Prince Charming was real then there would be no such thing as heart break.

Fairies were real then everyone could fly.

Shooting stars were real then Everyone's wishes would come true.

Because if God were real my prayers would be answered...

And all this time I've been hiding my tears,

Choking back the "I miss you",

Trying to find the air to breathe,

Hate remembering what happened,

Can't stand to forget,

Need to be saved,

All this time watch you disappear,

Hoping you'll find a way to stay.

If tears could build a staircase up to heaven,

I'd come up there and bring you right back down here,

I know you want me to be strong.

I know you wouldn't want to see me like this.

I still feel your hug,

I still hear you voice.

I miss you

Lost, missing, No where, Gone

Can’t find you

We miss you

Left behind many things

Friends, family, and everyone else

Who love you

Lost, missing, No where, Gone

You may not be here

Though you live on

Through the stories, hearts, and memories

Lost, missing, No where, Gone

Just like dust in the wind

Stay for a while, but gone

In the blink of an eye

Lost, missing, No where, Gone

As i write this poem,

you write something, i can't tell what.

2 rows over, back one seat.

As they all talk,

we stay silent.

As i look around eyes drifting towards you.

You look down, surrounded by idiots.

I write this in hopes

you'll one day read this, and know it's about you.

My knight in shadows, unknown, a mystery.

The one i want all in black.

Dark dark brown hair, almost black.

Black tennis shoes, and sweatshirt, blue jeans.

If you read this and know it's about you,

I'll be amazed.

If you feel the same way about me,

I'll be glad.

But by then when and if that happens,

I'll be dead.

Good-bye,My knight...

In Shadows and Darkness.